And it hurts to be held so close sometimes

Because that means I have failed

To keep myself in control to empty my cup away from the levees instead of smashing

Spilling overtop and inundating the earth of my friends with my tears

A garden could grow here if I could only divert the flow

Turn it into irrigation

Plant strong weeds to hold the shoreline steady and narrow the floodplain

I hold my friends tightly

A hand on the nape of the neck

Moving their face into me

has a double purpose

When I’m hiding them in my heart they can’t see me shudder and shake

I am just like my mother

Not a bad thing

I turned out fine if you hide the scars

Who am I when I’m not taking care of someone?

It’s easier to mother someone than to be my own person

I am uncomfortable being comforted

What a great tragedy is that

What a great tragedy I am

At least in my sorrow I can finally be the best

Am I pretty when I cry?

Maybe if I take on everyone’s pain I will finally be worthy of sharing my own